Experience #2: Speech During Morning Assembly

The Mamelodi Initiative: Final Week

Its too bad that I did not have the time to process all of this information and experiences in the moment but we really did have to give it our all the last week of program to make it work. I'm going to blog about things that I observed during our groups final hours on the trip as well as the three most formative final experiences for me.

Experience #2:  Speech During Morning Assembly

Well I am biting the bullet and making the decision to post this so here goes nothing - all over again.  I stayed up till 3:00 am writing this, and I was praying to have as big of an impact as possible. Here is what I wrote out for my speech.

Ashe!

Even a Mahua like me can learn a little Sepedi (African language) ney?

Hey guys my name is Dylan Rollins and I wanted to come and speak to you today so I could tell you about some mistakes that I have made in the past as a student, why I regret them now and how my life has changed dramatically by doing what I should have been doing all along.

So, I was born and raised in Winston-Salem, NC in the United States. I went to a very prestigious private school and at that time my school fees were about 140,000 Rand a year. I went to that school from the time that I was 4 years old to when I was 15. I knew pretty much one thing at that school, how to perform. In my school I was surrounded by the overachieving sons and daughters of politicians, CEOs, lawyers, doctors and successful entrepreneurs.  Since I went to such a good school, the classes were rigorously hard. I became used to a life where I was a Boy Scout, a three sport athlete and a successful student. But one of the things that made me very sad when I was a kid was the fact that I could not think as fast as any of the other students. No matter how much I tried I always spent twice as much time studying every single day after school and twice as much time to take every single test as all the other students. Because I grew up with students who were so determined and under so much pressure to do well in school, I thought I had to do that too. I was a very very sad person and despite how hard I worked I did not really understand WHY I should work hard and I wasn’t happy even though I did well. I only knew that doing my best was what my parents told me I should do and that it seemed like the people around me thought that doing well in school was extremely important.

So, my time at that private school ended at the end of my ninth grade year in secondary and after this my parents let me make a decision and I decided to switch into a public school.  The school that I had come from had a graduating class of 30 students, and the school that I went into had a class of 500. When I got to public school, I still did not know about the Gospel. Because I didn’t understand that God loved me, I was tired. I was tired of trying so hard just to make other people happy and live up to a standard I never felt like I could attain because I thought more slowly than my other students. I was tired of trying to be as good as everyone else around me. So as a person who did not feel motivated by God, in a new school with no friends and a learning difference that made me mad all the time, I became a lazy student.

You see, I was used to working very very hard to getting A’s and B’s but what I soon found in the public school that I had switched into was that I did not have to try hard. As a matter of fact, the classes were easy compared to the school that I had attended. It was not long before I decided that I kind of liked trying just enough to get by. I had found myself in a place where I did not have to try very hard to be considered a better than average student. To me, that was what I thought was important so I was satisfied.

Despite all the good study habits I had been taught, despite all the A’s that I had made, despite how hard I had worked I soon started a horrible and frequent habit of cheating in school. Because I had gotten so used to not trying I wasn’t prepared for when my classes got harder. I had gotten to a point where I didn’t want to work at all for the things that I felt I needed to make me stand out, the things that I thought would make me a good person. So when I encountered classes that I thought were hard, I resorted to cheating. I had gotten used to spending time with friends, my girlfriend, watching tv and practicing sports instead of studying. I lied to my parents, I lied to my teachers and worst of all I cheated myself out of learning so many things.  When I accepted Christ at the age of 17, and even though I eventually did change it took a while for me to make the switch.

I had gotten accepted to a prestigious University and because of my track record in high school I was a liar and a cheater and I didn’t deserve to be there. The only thing that could have possibly have changed my attitude was my relationship with Jesus. I had for years not allowed Jesus to come into my academic life because it was so full of sin. However, this all started to change when I went to Haiti on a mission trip.

I went there after the earthquake with my campus ministry and something that happened there would change my life forever. I thought that I had gone there to help others, but what I soon found was that I would be helped by the friendly people there far more than I could have possibly have helped them. One Sunday after church I started talking to some Haitian guys that were just about my age. The thing that they wanted to know was did I have any extra Bibles that they could have because they desperately wanted to learn how to read. You see, they wanted so desperately to get their hands on anything that would help them learn English because they knew that learning English was their hope to getting out of Haiti. To them, they felt God was calling them to be well-educated men so that they could serve God. From what I remember these guys had grown up so poor that they had almost never been able to afford to go to school in their life. Later when I was in my room crying, I left those guys every single one of the 10 or so Bibles and devotionals that I had brought to Haiti.

I cried because I realized that up to that point whether I did well in school or not, whether I had been sad or happy, whether I had been a cheater like I was in high school or not I had missed the point. I had never once really stopped to consider how blessed I was. As far as I was concerned I didn’t deserve my Bible because up to that point in my life I had never truly appreciated the opportunity to read it.

 After that trip, I ended up finding my passion in photography. Once I found my passion in photography, once I had found something that God had given me as a talent, I truly began to appreciate my education. But it was no longer just that I did not want to be a poor student, it was that my whole mind had been renewed and all of a sudden I had very big dreams for what I could do. I began seeking to do anything and everything that I could do to be the best student that I could be again. This time though, this time I wasn’t seeking to do well in school because I was seeking love and approval. I was seeking to do well in school because I knew that I was loved.

I say that I knew I was loved because I finally started recognizing the things that God had done for me. God proved he loved me by deciding to forgive an ungrateful, rich child who had never once appreciated the education that he had been given. God proved that he loved me by bringing me to Haiti to meet some guys who had never been given even 1% of the opportunity I had been given to learn so that I could finally regret all the wrong things that I had done. God proves he loves me still because he continues to reveal his plan in my life as I do my best to succeed.

So the reason I came to speak to you today, is that on a group of assessments I saw this written. 123-31=122. Now, what my gut tells me is that the only way that could have happened is if one person got the problem wrong and then their classmates all copied it. I am in front of you because this breaks my heart! It breaks my heart because I know what all my cheating has done to me. At times it has made it so hard to actually believe in myself. I achieved so many things without really working for them that I often seriously doubt myself.  But God loves me by saying I can do all things through him who strengthens me.  In case you didn’t get it, incase you think that I have gotten off unpunished for all that cheating, that incessant doubt that follows me is the price I pay for all of that cheating.

When I think that there might be students cheating in this program my heart breaks because I have come to a place where I appreciate my education because I see so vividly in my own life how worthless, ignorant and shortsighted it is to take it for granted. Whether it was cheating, or laziness or procrastination, at one time or another, I was the king of all those things. It is evidence of nothing but God’s grace that I can stand before you as a teacher.

My plea to you is this. Take every single day you have to learn as a blessing from God. Do not learn because your parents want you to. Do not do well because your friends will judge you if you do not. Do not get good grades to try and be a good person. Be passionate in your education because God is going to love you completely and entirely no matter what you do. So respond to God’s love by being the very best that you can possibly be every day for the rest of your life and don’t ever take your education for granted!

Afterward there was spontaneous applause and I smiled knowing that the 200 or so kids in the room that morning had been listening. Afterward I got to talk to a couple students who had more respect for the mahua (white guy) they had met. A week later the effect that this speech has had on me has been pretty huge. Just as important as it was for me to give that speech for others it was important for me to vocalize those thoughts. I needed to do it to help get my past behind me and move into what will be the toughest academic semester of my life.

God bless and all the best,

Dylan Rollins.

Experience #1: Leading Worship in Sotho

The Mamelodi Initiative: Final Week

Its too bad that I did not have the time to process all of this information and experiences in the moment but we really did have to give it our all the last week of program to make it work. I'm going to blog about things that I observed during our groups final hours on the trip as well as the three most formative final experiences for me.

Experience #1: Leading Worship in Sotho

This is truly a weird experience for me to write about. My singing is perhaps and will likely always will be the heart of my spiritual connection with the Lord. My mother has a beautiful voice, she is still requested at events by relatives in Surry County for her vocal chords. She wound up recording some music in her band Moon Wind that I proudly play on my ipod every now and again. My sister sings, she plays the guitar and has also recorded music I play on my ipod. I however, have had a different path with music. I always enjoyed music but for some reason or another never thought that I would be suited to learn guitar I got invested in the harmonica for awhile, but it never stuck with me. I tried out for choir at church when I started going when I was 17. For some reason, I just didn’t like singing the hyms, I felt that I did a bad job at staying in the right key and restraining my voice within them didn’t make much sense to me. That being said, I only gave choir a shot by attending a whopping one practice, but if anything this was do to the still lack of confidence that I had in my voice at that time.

Every once in while I would get bolder in church and sing a little bit louder. Someone would compliment me and eventually in that fashion I started discovering my range mostly through singing in the car. I’ve sung on youth retreats for my former church in Winston-Salem. Those times were so good, I always have felt like I was just up on stage when everyone else had the real talent with mastery of an instrument. It really was not until college when I started finding Christian music that I could take pride in and more opportunities to sing that I would eventually consider myself good. It was something that has always been spiritual for me because of it, because honestly I don’t know if I ever could have figured out if I could sing had I not been doing so in church when others actually had the chance to hear me. Otherwise my voice would have stayed trapped inside my ‘95 Geo Prism and all the beautiful experiences I have had with music may never have happened.

So ANYWAY that’s enough backstory.

 I found myself at worship practice once again after program at the Old Vista Campus of the University of Pretoria in South Africa. Unami, our kind South African worship leader who is almost as talented at slapping the base as he is a heart-throb. If there’s any doubt I know that statement would have significant female backing. I can also hear his voice in my head selflessly directing praise away from himself, “Aww shucks, you’re too kind.”  For some reason, I still have no clue why, Unami decided I should lead worship the second to last day of program. So I decided to pick the two songs that would get the kids the most amped up. I know that most of the kids have sung worship before but that many of them don’t have positive experiences associated with the experience of singing in church. Maybe many of them think its boring like I first did. So with song choice in hand, we went for it in a practice where everyone was exhausted and tired from nearly three weeks of volunteering enough time for it to be a full-time job.

The next morning I was informed that Unami was either sick or his car had broken down, possibly both, so I was on my own on getting the band together for practice. Without Unami there, there was some doubt (that may not have been unjustified) that we would be able to pull off these two songs well based on how dismal the practice ended up being the day before. Still wanting the kids to get that possitve experience I had been looking for I stayed persistent and eventually we agreed to do the songs we had agreed upon the day before with our fearless leader Unami.

When it came time to sing the first song, Ahuna ya tswanang le Jesu (There is no one like Jesus) I was a little nervous. And for good reason since the first four lines of the song are sung by the leader before the rest of the band comes in. The song goes like this

Ahuna ya tswanang le Jesu              There is nobody like Jesus

Ahuna ya tswanang naye                 There is nobody like him

Ahuna ya tswanang le Jesu              There is nobody like Jesus

Ahuna ya tswanang naye                 There is nobody like him

Ahuuuna                               

Kamatla matla, hohle hohle             I looked around, everywhere

Kadikulaha, hohle hohle                  I turned around everywhere

Kamu fumana Jesu waka                 I eventually found my Jesus

Ahuna ya tswanang naye                 There is nobody like him

Kamaaatla

I got through that first line and all of a sudden those kids were cheering really loud. So loud in fact, that I could not really hear myself. There are no speakers in the auditorium and so I was singing into a wall of calamitous sound that was drowning out everything I said for a moment and if it had not been for the drum behind me I’m confident I would have lost time.

The second song was Deep Cries Out to Deep.

I've got a river of living water
A fountain that never will run dry
It's open Heavens You're releasing
And we will never be denied

Cause we're stirring up deep deep wells
We're stirring up deep deep waters
We're going to dance in the river, dance in the river
Cause we're stirring up deep deep wells
We're stirring up deep deep waters
We're going to jump in the river
Jump in the river and everybody singing now

Deep cries out to deep cries out to                                     Chorus
Deep cries out to deep cries out to
So we cry out to, we cry out to, You Jesus

We're falling into deeper waters, calling out to You
We're walking into deeper waters, going after You

If He goes to the left then we'll go to the left
And if He goes to the right then we'll go to the right
We're going to jump jump jump jump in the river
Jump jump jump jump, everybody
If He goes to the left then we'll go to the left
And if He goes to the right then we'll go to the right
We're going to dance dance, dance dance in the river
Dance dance, dance dance, everybody
If He goes to the left then we'll go to the left
And if He goes to the right then we'll go to the right
We're going to shout shout shout shout in the river
Shout shout shout shout in the river, everybody

The second part is where the fun came in, the songs done with a lot of movement and we went for the final part at a super fast – increasing speed the whole time. By the end of it essentially no one could breathe, and I had so little oxygen going to my noggin I actually forgot to pray. Thankfully one of the other singers pulled me back by my shirt before I sat down.

As I was setting up to do some interviews of my fellow co-teachers, I heard kids singing on the way to class and I smiled knowing we had accomplished our goal. I only wish Unami was there to see it.

God bless and all the best,

Dylan Rollins.

Observation #2: Why “Help” is a Funny Word

The Mamelodi Initiative: Final Week

Its too bad that I did not have the time to process all of this information and experiences in the moment but we really did have to give it our all the last week of program to make it work. I'm going to blog about things that I observed during our groups final hours on the trip as well as the three most formative final experiences for me. Look for blog posts titled by observations and events.

Observation #2: Why “Help” is a Funny Word

To say that I went to South Africa and helped some kids would be a very shortsighted statement. I was challenged on this trip to question the notion of the word help. After a month worth of processing this I think it has finally become clear to me why that word is bothersome. To say that I went to South Africa and helped some kids implies that I am the one that primarily has something to give and the kids in The Mamelodi Initiative program don’t. We need each other. I can promise you, that for every time I spoke words or acted out of love towards those kids it was something that I needed just as much as they did. For every kid that I left a positive impact on, there is a part of me that is being satisfied by that. I think in many ways, my love for mentoring and seeing positive change happen in the lives of kids comes from all the times I felt like I needed someone older to talk to and get advice and love from. While I can’t fix the way my life was when I was younger, I can help fix the lives of kids who needed the same things that I did. But oh so very importantly, those kids are simultaneously helping me by receiving that advice and letting it impact them for the better.

I’ll offer an example that I was given today. One of the precious girls that had been in my class found me on Facebook and messaged me today. In many ways while I had liked this student I wondered if the things I said were getting through to her because she was often soft spoken around me. I thought she was a good student and I loved reading her journal entries but she was quiet when it came to conversation. So I wrote back to her in her journal, not ever sure if my words of encouragement were reaching her.

Her message was this,

“Hello Dylan I just want to tell you how much I missed you because you made me feel proud of myself and I’m proud of you too. May God be with you and keep you safe for me until we meet again.”

In a nutshell this encompasses everything that I am talking about. While she may have needed to have someone to tell her they made her proud, I just as badly needed to know that I was able to do that for someone else for all the times I have not been proud of myself in my own life. That my friends is the joy God gives us in serving him, because no matter how old we get we still have something to learn and we still can grow. No matter where we are in life we are never so high and mighty that we are the only ones with anything to offer to someone else, no matter how we may view them.

God bless and all the best,

Dylan Rollins.